I was working in a rock bar not so long ago, covering for one of the guys for the night when this woman came to the DJ stand and started giving me grief for not playing ‘proper rock music’
To be honest, I can fully understand her opinion of the music I was playing, after all, I was working in an environment which is relatively new to me (I know very little about Rock) and that my music wasnt exactly suitable for the venue or to her taste, hence her coming forward to voice her somewhat detailed opinion to what I should be playing, and why I should be playing it.
However, it wasnt her complaint that made me come to writing this piece, it was more of the fact that I noticed her age.. She wasnt exactly in the prime of her life, if anything, she’d probably passed that at 100mph three decades ago.
So if this is a sign of things of things to come, I can only imagine that in a world where we begin to live longer, and party harder - Here’s a couple of things I forsee in the near future:
Nursing homes be populated by senior citizens covered in tribal bands and tattoos, At 50th Birthday Parties, the requests of the evening will consist mainly of RnB, Electro and Bassline. Will we be subjected to hearing people saying “I remember these when they first came out on ITunes” and Wallace Arnold will be doing coach trips to Creamfields.
You may think it’s funny, and yes, laugh all you will, but I bet it’s only a matter of time before it happens - just remember this..The next time you see a lady in a smoke filled nightclub dressed in neon, furry boots and blowing kisses at the DJ - don’t ask her out until you’ve made sure that the twenty-something clubbers dancing round her arent her kids.Don’t say I did’nt warn you…
Friday, October 10, 2008
A DJ's selection of annoying top tips
Everyone likes to give advice or voice an opinion, especially to us DJs - and we usually get these golden pearls of wisdom while we’re working, and sometimes it often comes from another DJ that is’nt.
If you would like to feel like ‘one of us’ and really fit in with the DJ community, here’s a really useful guide to getting it right first time..
A TIP TOP TIP LIST FOR ALL YOU CUSTOMERS AND WANNABES ALIKE:
1: Ask for a mix, we’re always looking for somebody to show us how to do it properly.
2: You’re an MC? - Excellent, we’d love to stop what we’re doing right now and get you to show off your skills to the entire building.
3: You can scratch too? - Brilliant, you’re just what we’ve been looking for, someone to use our records and rip the living daylights out of them.
4: We don’t have the record/s you’re requesting - of course we’ll wait till you nip home quickly to bring it/them so we can play it for you, or even better, bring some CDs with you next time and we’ll play the lot just for you.
5: You sing this song all the time on the mic? - Excellent, here, take my mic now and we’ll let you sing the song, make it your own and we’ll all stand in awe as you turn an already well made, chart topping track into something really special - we wont even bat an eyelid when you forget the words due to the tenth sambuca you’ve had starting to melt your brains into pulp.
6: Make sure we are always taking the music in the right direction by telling us what to play next - especially if there’s ‘no one dancing to this’ We often forget what to do and we’re always needing someone to remind us what to do.
7: You’re going in 4 minutes?? - Well why didnt you say so, we’ll happily put your song on immediately regardless if we’ve either played it already/its a drum & bass track and we’re in the middle of a party set/it’s absolutely shite…
8: You’re a better DJ than I am, well you’d have to be to be able to break away from your own set to give me hassle while I try and do mine…
If you would like to feel like ‘one of us’ and really fit in with the DJ community, here’s a really useful guide to getting it right first time..
A TIP TOP TIP LIST FOR ALL YOU CUSTOMERS AND WANNABES ALIKE:
1: Ask for a mix, we’re always looking for somebody to show us how to do it properly.
2: You’re an MC? - Excellent, we’d love to stop what we’re doing right now and get you to show off your skills to the entire building.
3: You can scratch too? - Brilliant, you’re just what we’ve been looking for, someone to use our records and rip the living daylights out of them.
4: We don’t have the record/s you’re requesting - of course we’ll wait till you nip home quickly to bring it/them so we can play it for you, or even better, bring some CDs with you next time and we’ll play the lot just for you.
5: You sing this song all the time on the mic? - Excellent, here, take my mic now and we’ll let you sing the song, make it your own and we’ll all stand in awe as you turn an already well made, chart topping track into something really special - we wont even bat an eyelid when you forget the words due to the tenth sambuca you’ve had starting to melt your brains into pulp.
6: Make sure we are always taking the music in the right direction by telling us what to play next - especially if there’s ‘no one dancing to this’ We often forget what to do and we’re always needing someone to remind us what to do.
7: You’re going in 4 minutes?? - Well why didnt you say so, we’ll happily put your song on immediately regardless if we’ve either played it already/its a drum & bass track and we’re in the middle of a party set/it’s absolutely shite…
8: You’re a better DJ than I am, well you’d have to be to be able to break away from your own set to give me hassle while I try and do mine…
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